


JARVIS Knows Best

by BuzzCat



Series: 30 Day Cheesy Tropes And Rare Pairs Challenge [28]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (not really just a scene that I thought was super funny), F/M, While you were sleeping!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 23:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8943199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuzzCat/pseuds/BuzzCat
Summary: JARVIS is very good at his job. He is as good as he is because he is able to connect the dots in a situation, sometimes even before his humans do. Sometimes his conclusions are wrong, but sometimes they are not. Darcy is about to benefit from the wisdom of a humble AI.





	

Darcy shook her head as she emptied her stomach of the last of its contents. Fuck, that was the last time she ate dubious leftovers. Henceforth, strictly food of only the highest caliber…or at least food that she remembered buying. She stood up a little shakily and rinsed her mouth out. JARVIS chimed in,

“Is there anything I can do for you, Miss Lewis? Would you like me to alert Sir to your distress?”

“Nah, he just fell asleep and he’s been running on empty all week. Besides, it’s only crappy food. I’m good.”

“On the contrary Miss Lewis, I believe—“

“J, ‘m fine. I’m going back to bed. Night.”

“Good night, Miss Lewis.”

 

A couple weeks later, Darcy sighed as she watched Jane knock back a shot. Jane held the bottle of vodka toward her, “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Darcy replied. Jane seemed to take a moment to wrap her brain around that, then shrugged,

“More for me!” In his servers, JARVIS made a note and when he combined it with other information, he was able to reach a logical conclusion and add said conclusion to known information. One did not become as useful as him without making a few intuitive leaps and this was one such occasion where the data supported a technically unproven but nonetheless logical conclusion.

 

Two weeks later, Darcy relaxed into the couch. It was their first family movie night in a while. Villains had been especially busy lately and Thor had been off-world, so having everyone back under one roof and no one seriously injured was a luxury Darcy had missed. Steve stood behind the bar,

“Does anyone want anything before I come back over? Beer, soda pop?”

“Steve, it’s called one or the other, you can’t have both. And I’ll take a beer,” Darcy said, sitting in Tony’s lap with her feet resting on Bruce’s knees. Steve threw the bottle over and Darcy easily caught it, using her Mjolnir keychain to pop the top off. As she raised it to her lips, JARVIS spoke up,

“I would advise against imbibing spirits, Miss Lewis,” he said. Darcy took a deep drink then asked,

“And why would that be?”

“Because it’s not good for the baby.” Darcy choked on her beer and Tony spewed his scotch across her shirt. Steve dropped what he was holding and Thor’s jovial expression darkened as he slowly stood and suddenly Tony was forcibly reminded that this was a god of thunder who would think nothing of smiting a mortal. Darcy glared at the ceiling,

“JARVIS, what the fuck?” She whipped around to look at Tony, her hands coming up in a surrender, “I swear, not pregnant,” Darcy realized how everyone else had reacted and she stared down each person in the room, “Not pregnant. I swear to you, no progeny is in creation. Procreation is not on the priority list right now. Everyone just chill,” she said. Tony eyed her suspiciously. Darcy glared up at the ceiling, “JARVIS, you wanna share your thought process on that one?”

“Forgive me, Miss Lewis. You were violently ill three weeks ago for a couple mornings and refused to drink with Dr. Foster when previous interactions indicate that you would have partook.”

“JARVIS. I had some bad takeout that took a while to get out of my system. And I didn’t drink with Jane that night because I had to be out at eight in the morning to catch a train to talk to a professor.”

“I apologize for my conclusion, Miss Lewis. I will rework my algorithms to allow a smaller margin of error.”

“Good. You are forgiven, all-seeing if not all-knowing Eye in the Sky,” Darcy said. An awkward silence still pervaded the room, Thor occasionally shooting an angry look at Tony. The party broke up pretty quickly after that.

That night, Darcy lay in bed as Tony snored beside her. JARVIS’s assumption had bothered here. That and the fact that she was late. With a frustrated huff, she threw off the covers and made her way to the bathroom. She had a few tests hidden away at the back of the cupboard for when she got paranoid. She dug one out and did her business, almost falling asleep leaning against the wall waiting for it to be done. She just needed to have her fears put to rest and then she could get some quality sleep instead of tossing and turning. She waited five minutes just to be sure. She glanced down at the stick, her hand already coming up to grab it and throw it in the trash, but she stopped. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. Then,

“Well, fuck.”


End file.
